On Hold at 30,000 Feet

by  Kitty Burns

Short Play, Comedy  /  2m, 1f

One of two airline passengers seated together plans to read while the other hopes to lure him into babysitting a bumbling bundle of psychotic neurosis who, during the short flight, alienates the crew, the passengers and life itself.

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On Hold at 30,000 Feet

by  Kitty Burns

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  • Cast Size

    Cast Size

    2m, 1f
  • Duration


    30 minutes
  • SubGenre


    Parody / Spoof
  • Accolades


    Not Applicable
  • Audience

    Target Audience

    • Adult
    • Senior
    • Pre-Teen (Age 11 - 13)
    • Teen (Age 14 - 18)

Additional Info

Harvey is taking his first airplane flight. This is the fourth time he’s been on an airplane, but the first time he has stayed on board after the airplane door was shut. He is deathly afraid of flying and is taking no chances of anything going wrong. He has brought with him every good luck charm imaginable, and puts David, the unwilling passenger next to him, in charge of keeping his neurosis at a minimum. When David gives up and abandons his task, Harvey telephones his psychiatrist to talk him through the flight. Harvey is furious about being put on hold and hangs up and calls his psychic to finish the job. She does, and makes a few predictions with both settling and unsettling results.

Published in the collection If God Wanted Us To Fly He Would Have Given Us Wings!

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Performing Groups

  • High School/Secondary
  • College Theatre / Student
  • Community Theatre
  • Professional Theatre


  • No Special Cautions

License details

  • Minimum Fee: £62 per performance
    £29 per play individually
    Plus VAT when applicable



  • Time Period: Present Day
  • Duration: 30 minutes
  • Setting: An airplane
  • Additional Features: Not Applicable
  • Features / Contains: Contemporary Costumes / Street Clothes


  • Musical Style: N/A (Not a musical)
  • Chorus Size: No Chorus


2m, 1f
HARVEY GOLDBERG - 30s-40s, very nervous
DAVID WATKINS - 30s-50s, distant, unfriendly
PILOT - any age, voice over
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Cast Attributes

  • Not Applicable

Casting Notes

Plus 1 voice


Available Services



Kitty Burns

Kitty Burns grew up thinking she was 100% Irish Catholic; then, to her surprise, at 18 years of age, she found out that she was only 50% Irish Catholic. The other 50% was Russian Jew! With an identity crisis like that, she figured that she should get into something sensible and rational that would give ...

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On Hold at 30,000 Feet premiered at the Iona Prep School in New Rochelle, NY in November 1997.

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