SALTY — A school-leaver, bright and fresh-faced, rather dirty
in appearance
GAIL — Loud-mouthed and bossy, attractive and full of enthusiasm
HOBBY — Shy. Should be very large, must be bigger than the
other two. She is doing the play despite herself
NIXON — New drama teacher, young and casual
MRS PARRY — The Head Mistress, large and loud, a real eccentric
MR BASFORD — The Deputy Head, a typical child hater, a nasty
piece of work
MISS PRIME — Dolly bird of a PE mistress
MS WHITHAM — A fussy and hopeless teacher, deperate to leave
MS JONES — A moaner, rather fat, someone who wants to leave
but no-one will employ her
DEANIE — A teacher who thinks all the kids love him, a bad dancer
DOUG — The caretaker, a miserable old man, he hates kids and
drama
OGGY — The cock of the school, looks much older than he actually
is, the school bully in a modern age
PETE SAXON — A large, frightening youth with tattoos, appears
foolish
MR FISHER — Head of PE
BARRY WOBSCHALL — A small boy who never brings his PE kit
PIGGY PATTERSON — A boy who is always telling on others, he
always runs to his lessons
RON — A boy who never does PE
MR HATTON — Helps with the youth club dance
DENNIS — Oggy’s side-kick
MRS COATES — Head Mistress at Saint George’s
MRS CLIFTON — Head of Governors at Saint George’s
1 female to play 21 roles